who’s nearby: Jake’n Till
mood: ich hüte mich davor, irgend jemanden zu zitieren.
music: Swans – The Seer
gut feeling: sex.
apart from my financially worst-ever-situation and the fact that some keys of my notebook do not function anymore (thanx to my clumsy ol’ drinker’s hand) – and not to forget my ancient samsung mobile phone that’s gonna bite the dust soon and the fact there is an emergent operation we canst pay – i feel quite ok. nothing really bad has happened so far and i am still breathing, basta. tears dried, that son of a bitch from whom i got fussweh (please take a look at my older posts) is now in my new hometown and I refused to see him – hence fled to bavaria and lower saxony again, chasing one horrible job after another. so it was not long ago, say february, when in my shallow weeping i discovered a very interesting, useful medicine for heartache: a physical substitute. or to be more direct: “fuck buddy”. however, i consider this term as rather vulgar and vulgarizing my private life is beyond the literary border i am unwilling to cross. let’s leave that to bukowksi and e.l. james. let’s read further on in the intimate dispensabilities of this young blogger named wovenhorse, shall we. and to all the blackballers of healthy, stealthy and wild sexual intercourse: zis is a not america.
the word “substitute” sounds crueler than it is; we both are on the same page concerning this affair: i need to forget, he needs to forget. we share the same taste in music and movies, bathe happily in extremely indecent jokes and had found each other agreeable when we met a couple of years ago. he does not talk his head off all the time, just does what he is best at. indeed, his best is de facto the best i’ve ever had (which, measured by other women’s intercourse, should not be that difficult but measured against my “experienced” former partners is a pure miracle) – and think about it: fuck buddies rather tend to be openly egocentric about getting what they want. so i am all astonishment: it is the first time in my life i have enjoyed myself permanently in a man’s presence. it must be the non-binding nature of it all. maybe because i feel absolutely free and don’t need to prove anything. selfishness and sincerity are close neighbors.
nachtrag der bloggerin:puh. glück gehabt. kein fremdtextsnippet, keine konkrete textnennung. dann kann ich ja george orwell getrost und unzitiert wieder wegpacken. wenn auch du, lieber leser, wert darauf legst, dass textliche netzinhalte frei von allen fremdquellen zitierenden erläuterungen bleiben, stimm jetzt für das leistungsschutzgesetz!