Don’t date a girl that travels. Yeah… I feel bad now.
Die meiste Zeit« sagt er leise und um Fasson bemüht, »bewege ich mich in einer Luftblase aus Gleichgültigkeit. Ich bin ein Konglomerat aus Teilchen in dieser Blase, die aneinanderhängen und doch nicht ein und Dasselbe wollen. Sollte es so etwas wie einen Gott geben, hat er mich zum Gespött des Jahrhunderts gemacht, und dieser Spott, das fühle ich, steckt immer in dieser Blase aus Isolation […] Ich bemitleide mich nicht selbst, ich sehe nur, dass ich tun und sagen kann, was ich will, die Blase bleibt da und ich kann nicht heraus. Ich bin voller Gefühle. Ich fühle zu viel, die ganzen Empfindungen, sie brechen bald aus mir heraus. Aber niemand sieht das Licht darin, nur die negative Seite«
location: not in europe
who’s nearby: chati
mood: generally OK
music: Die Antwoord – Fatty Boom Boom
gut feeling: blast, I’ll never make it
it is true. i will fail miserably at my current job here. but emotionally everything is OK. i had a very uncomfortable incident with my flatmate two nights ago. he was drunk and I vaguely aware that he was trying to get on with something.. so he more or less drove me to my room, it got too funny for my taste. it became very awkward when i got ready for bed. i noticed that my flatmate had turned off the tv and shut the lights. after brushing teeth etc i wanted to return some dishes to the kitchen, opened my door and, fuck, was i surprised. he is standing right in front of my room in the darkness.
inside i was freaked out but tried not to show it too much and scolded him a bit for scaring me. after that two hours of annoying knocks on my door, pathetic coughing and gauging and weird noises kept me from my idle sleep. “leave me be or i will break your fucking nose, s., i MEAN it.” he stopped eventually but only because i had locked the door and gave him a warning that i would press my panic button (yes, i’ve got one, and if you guys knew where i was you would nod). in the morning i left him a note, he was pretty embarrassed the next day and now we just keep to ourselves. actually my flatmate cooked me some dinner and baked bread (!!!) to say sorry. but he will have to do more than that. idiot.
apart from that i am fine. i have loads of respect for people in the media and communications business. being totally new to it and having no one to ask for assistance, this could soon turn out a nightmare. why did they take me??? i overslept today’s project head meeting so what does a chaos head like me doing here? 😉
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